Let's pause for a moment now and take a glimpse into my insanity history.
My mother is a 55 year old anorexic. She won't admit it. Everyone in the family knows it. She's that way because her mother harped on her for her weight. My mom has never been fat. She just thought she was. I have two brothers and one sister. My sister was quite heavy as a child due to a significant weight gain during a kidney infection. My mom, though a truly loving woman, felt that a fat daughter reflected on her as a mother. She spent a lot of our adolescence buying unflattering clothes for my sister and me to try and hide our bodies. She obsessed on our weights. My sister says that my mom was particularly cruel to her, saying things like "no one wants a fat bride" and making pig faces at her if she went for seconds. My mom didn't do any of those things to me. My sister was bulimic for years.
I started gaining weight in the 6th grade. My mom told me that I shouldn't play outside with the boys anymore. So I started staying inside. Now, I was chubby. But I don't think I was as chubby as I thought I was. I wore a size 12. I'm not sure that was my real size as all of our clothes were baggy (see above). I was raised in a Mormon family (I'm no longer Mormon, my whole family is). In the Mormon faith, members pride themselves on modest dress. To my mom, modesty was big, ugly, age-inappropriate clothes. She was doing her best. I know she was. Moms are a product of their own environment.
So, I graduated high school and wore a size 12 or 14. Probably I was closer to a 10. I weighed 145 or so lbs.
I dropped a LOT of weight my freshman year of college. I was down to a size 10 pants and a medium shirt.
Then started my years of clinical depression. This was about the time I'd realized the Mormon church wasn't for me. I struggled so hard with that decision that I actually considered suicide. It was a dark dark time.
I managed though to graduate from college, move away from my family and get out on my own for real. I weighed 200lbs.
Thinking for myself for the first time was amazing and terrifying all at once. This is when I started the Richard Simmons food mover. I got down to 175. I felt confident and started dating. Met my husband. Got married. I was 215 on the day we married. When we decided to try for a baby, we discovered that I have a prolactinomia -- which is a tumor on my pituitary gland that prevented ovulation. I went on medication to suppress that. I was 225 when I got pregnant. I had a terrible pregnancy and weighed 195 when I got home from the hospital.
Now -- you know -- I'm in the 220 neighborhood again. -- and I'm ready ready ready to be healthy.
I had gestational diabetes... and they've done all sorts of tests on me. I'm borderline insulin resistant. Bad news. That's why I must "Fight the Sugar!" My body can't handle it. And I suspect that's why my hormones are so nuts. My body is just not functioning well at this weight.
I've been at a clinical depression point in my life.
I've considered anti-depressants.
I've done LOTS of research.
They saved my sister's life.
They're not for me.
If you're on them, great.
They're not for me.
Especially not now. I KNOW what clinical depression feels like. This isn't it. This is my body physically crying out for help.
So, I'm formulating my plan.
I've got to go low carb. Not crazy person low carb. I'm talking about "no whites" low carb. No sugar, no white rice, no regular pasta.
I've got to keep exercising.
And now, I've done a little research regarding supplements.
For women with issues like mine, I've come up with this list of supplements.
*I'm NOT A DOCTOR! I'M NOT A DOCTOR!! This is not a recommendation!*
- Chromium.
- B-Vitamins
- Zinc
- Magnesium
- Coenzyme-10
- Garcinia Cambogia
- Vitex
- Milk Thistle
Chromium: helps to encourage the formation of glucose tolerance factor which is a substance released by the liver and required to make insulin more efficient. A deficiency of chromium can lead to insulin resistance.
the Recommended Daily Intake (RDI) of Chromium is 120 mcg but it's most effective at 200 - 400 mcg per day. ( you supposedly can't OD on this one). My Prenatal vitamin has NO chromium in it.
the B's -- Vitamins B2, B3, B5 and B6 are particularly useful for controlling weight, and here's why: Vitamin B2 helps to turn fat, sugar and protein into energy. B3 is a component of the glucose tolerance factor, which is released every time blood sugar rises, and vitamin B3 helps to keep the levels in balance. Vitamin B5 has been shown to help with weight loss because it helps to control fat metabolism. B6 is also important for maintaining hormone balance and, together with B2 and B3, is necessary for normal thyroid hormone production. Any deficiencies in these vitamins can affect thyroid function and consequently affect the metabolism.
B2 - RDI is 1.3 - 1.6 -- My prenatal covers this
B3 - RDI -- 15 - 19 mcg -- My prenatal covers this
B5 - this is not in my prenatal
B6 -- RDI is 1.6 and for some reason my prenatal over-covers me on this one.
Zinc -- the RDI is 8 - 11mg. My prenatal has 25 mg -- so I'm more than covered.
Magnesium -- RDI is 320 --- my prenatal does not have magnesium in it
The other things listed are supplements not found in a common vitamin.
So I need to get supplements of Chromium, B5, Magnesium and the supplemental Q-10, Cambogia, Vitex and Milk Thistle.
That's going to be expensive.
I don't want to play "chemistry set" with my body, but I do want to get back on an even keel.
I think I'll start on Day 1 of my next "cycle."
Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing????
Any words of wisdom??
